One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn’t reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!”
Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 412.”
--------------------------------------------
The biology teacher at the all-girls academy was handing back a test on the male anatomy.
“I don’t understand why you girls can’t understand the male sex organ. You’ve had it pounded into you all semester!
---------------------
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!“
“Well,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”
---------------------
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail….. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.
So she used “blow-up” dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business.
After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.
The first man said, “I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned… how was it for you?”
The second man replied, “I think mine was a witch.”
The first man asked, “How’s that?” “Well,” said the second man, “when I nibbled on her breast…..she farted and flew out the window!”
-----------------------------------------
There’s this man who drinks beer at a local bar every night. One night, he came in and had nothing to drink. The bartender was curious and asked him why he wasn’t drinking anything.
The man replied, “I don’t drink anymore… Last night, I blew chunks.”
”Oh that’s nothing”, the bartender replies. “Everyone gets a little sick after drinking at times!”
”No, No”, the man replies. “You don’t understand. Chunks is my dog!
--------------------------------------------
young man had met a nice young woman. They both liked each other and thought the time was right.
Both of them got naked and the man lay on top of her. Before pushing his dick in he waited. Meanwhile his dick was having a conversation with his balls.
1st Ball: You mean you are.
Dick: What do you mean, you’re invited too.
2nd Ball: Yeah, but you always leave us outside knocking.
--------------------------------
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh I see,” replied the boy. “I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.”
The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college men,” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”
---------**************---------------*************------------
No comments:
Post a Comment