The man looks at the woman and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
She replies, "Hell no!"
The man says, "Well, it must be your feet then."
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Two buddies were sharing drinks in Murphy's bar while discussing their wives.
"Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two.
"Well, not exactly," his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?"
"Well, not exactly. Whenever I make a move, she's most likely to roll over and play dead."
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An Irish man and a woman had been dating for about a year and their relationship was taking a turn towards getting serious.
The man proposed and she accepted, however she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby's.
He said that he loved her and that her measurements didn't matter to him.
He also told her that his penis was also like a baby.
She said that she loved him and size didn't matter.
Come the day of the wedding and all went well.
That night the happy couple checked into the honeymoon suite at the resort hotel. The blushing bride was in the bathroom putting on a sexy nightie.
Her husband was in the bed waiting.
As she entered the bedroom, she reminded him of her confession about her chest being like a baby.
"Don't worry honey,” he said.
She took her nightgown off and her breasts were the smallest he had ever seen.
He said that he was going to get undressed and reminded her of his confession about his penis being like a baby.
As he took his pants off the new bride said, "Good God All Mighty.
I thought you said your penis was like a baby"
"It is," he said, "9 pounds and 19 inches long!"
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