Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.
"What is your name?" he asked.
"Quack." the duck answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Quack," the duck answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." the duck replied.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.
"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."
Barely twenty minutes after teeing off a woman walks into the clubhouse and she's grimacing in pain.
"What's the matter?” The club pro asked
" I got stung by a bee" the woman replied
"Where" The club pro said
"Between the first and second holes"
"hmmmmm" The pro said " Sounds like your stance is a little too wide"
Being married for some time the wife began questioning her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of women before;” she said “How many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, but there were more than a couple of women.
Let’s just leave it at that.” She continued to plead. Finally, her husband gave in. “Let’s see,” he said. “there was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine…
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking girl behind the wheel. There was a strong liquor smell all over the car. “I am going to give you a Breathalyzer test,” he said. “That will show whether or not you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blew up the balloon and the cop walked it back to the police car. After a minute or two, he returned to the girl’s car. “Well, it looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones,” he said.
“You mean it show that, too?” she said.
Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he''s so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I''m not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."
"What is your name?" he asked.
"Quack." the duck answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Quack," the duck answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." the duck replied.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.
"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."
Barely twenty minutes after teeing off a woman walks into the clubhouse and she's grimacing in pain.
"What's the matter?” The club pro asked
" I got stung by a bee" the woman replied
"Where" The club pro said
"Between the first and second holes"
"hmmmmm" The pro said " Sounds like your stance is a little too wide"
Being married for some time the wife began questioning her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of women before;” she said “How many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, but there were more than a couple of women.
Let’s just leave it at that.” She continued to plead. Finally, her husband gave in. “Let’s see,” he said. “there was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine…
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking girl behind the wheel. There was a strong liquor smell all over the car. “I am going to give you a Breathalyzer test,” he said. “That will show whether or not you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blew up the balloon and the cop walked it back to the police car. After a minute or two, he returned to the girl’s car. “Well, it looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones,” he said.
“You mean it show that, too?” she said.
Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he''s so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I''m not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."
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